Hey there! I have not forgotten you, I promise! I’ve been a wee bit busy with school, which is tough this semester. I’m starting a new language—Korean—and it’s a challenge! Not entirely different from Japanese but some things, while they sound the same, are NOT and that can be really confusing! But I’m getting there, it’s just taking up time, which means writing has been, well, really slow.

That said, I *have* done some editing! This is an older story I started a while back and found on my hard drive. I found myself reading it (though some of it made me cringe!) and decided to edit and, eventually, finish it! It’s part of the Naruto fandom, so if you’re not familiar, you might want to skip this because some of it is very necessary to understand what’s going on. If you do, well… I hope you enjoy my Yamato/Iruka story!

A few things:

1. I do not own Naruto, any of it’s spinoffs, sequels, characters, world, etc., etc., etc.

2. I started this ages ago on AFF and Y!Gal. I’ve edited heavily and am posting it here. (If you’ve seen it on AFF or Y!Gal, this IS better. I promise!) I’ll be updating AFF but Y!Gal is, of course, gone.

3. I refuse to recognize canon after a certain point in the Naruto story (~ch. 614/ep. 364). 😛 This story doesn’t really deal with anything different. It’s after the war, before most things have changed, and they’re still rebuilding. Still, maybe consider this to be an alternative timeline.

4. I make no guarantees about finishing this. :/ I want to, but writing has been a challenge, at best. I’m in school again and it’s… not easy… to find the mental energy to write anything, including fanfic. (I have original, paid works I should be doing…) BUT! I have 10 chapters written, 6 fully edited, so there’s plenty of story to get started with. 🙂


Without further ado, What Is:

Waking up after a night of drinking in bed naked with a strange person wasn’t all that common to begin with. But when Yamato wakes up naked in bed with a man… Umino Iruka… he’s forced to face a whole lot of possibilities he never imagined. Iruka had never even considered he might be gay–or bi–and waking up naked in bed with Yamato was the last thing he’d ever expected. Now the two of them must decide if there’s more to this than a drunken mistake. If they can get past the embarrassment and their own hangups, they might just find something they’d never expected–and that could be the best thing they could ever want.



What do you say when you just had the most fantastic sex of your life? How do you react to something like that? Especially when it happened with the last person in the world you ever expected it to?

Well, maybe not the last. Yamato was, by far, not the last person Iruka had ever thought about having sex with. He was, however, the only man Iruka had ever considered being with. And in that moment, he couldn’t ever remember a single woman that made him feel so good.

He looked up to see Yamato watching him. He wasn’t quite sure what was in Yamato’s dark eyes, and his mind was such a mess he couldn’t have figured it out, anyway, so he didn’t even try to understand it.

“Are… are you okay?”

Iruka blushed, looking back down. “More than.” He dropped light kisses on Yamato’s chest. Yamato was running his hands gently over Iruka’s back. Normally, he’d have been more than a little worried about that, as overly-conscious of his scar there as he was, but the mess in his head meant he couldn’t summon the mental ability to worry about it. Instead, he tried to sort out his feelings toward what just happened. When he looked up again, there was a smile on Yamato’s face. Their lips met in another kiss. This felt different. This wasn’t about the sex, nor about arousal. And it nearly took his breath away in itself.

They broke apart and he laid his head back down, trying to figure out how to deal with this. He had a feeling he’d just lost his heart to Yamatoa manand that was something he hadn’t imagined could happen. Attraction, yes. Sex? No doubt. Love? He mentally shook himself. No, it was just a reaction to the incredible sex. That’s was all. Of course.

Iruka ignored the mental snort he got in response to that.

He shifted his thoughts with effort. They were going to be sticky; that was something he hadn’t counted on. But he didn’t care. “Um, I made a bit of a mess. Sorry.” His face was bright red when he looked back up.

“I couldn’t possibly care less.” Yamato ran his fingers over Iruka’s face, then down over one red cheek before placing another soft kiss on him. “Maybe we can just go take a shower, hmm?”

Iruka nodded and carefully moved off Yamato. He tried to hide the wince at the twinge of pain the movement caused, but was afraid he didn’t pull it off. Yamato proved him right when he pulled Iruka against him as they stood. “Did I hurt you?”

Iruka shook his head. “Just a little… sore. Well, not really just… I don’t know.” He sighed in frustration. “No. It doesn’t hurt. It’s just… a little tender, I guess. I’ll be fine.”

Yamato considered him a moment, then leaned in and whispered, “That’s good, because I’d hate to think I ruined it for you. I’d really like to be able to be with you again.” He dropped a kiss on that spot behind Iruka’s ear. “And again.” Then nibbled on his neck. “And again.”

Iruka closed his eyes. Good grief, that voice was sexy when Yamato talked like that. Incredibly, Iruka’s cock started to respond to it and he swallowed hard. He smiled, a little shyly and looked over at Yamato. “You don’t have anything to worry about. It was most certainly not ruined and, in fact, I’m pretty confident that if you’ve ruined anything for me, well, it’s…” He paused and cleared his throat. “Women.”

He turned away to hide the blush and took a few steps toward the bathroom. It took him a second to realize Yamato wasn’t with him. He turned back to see a stunned look on Yamato’s face. “What?” he asked, cheeks heating.

Yamato shook his head, a smile spreading. He caught up to Iruka, putting both arms around him again. “That just makes me feel good to hear, is all.” He paused and said into Iruka’s ear, “I can’t imagine wanting anyone else, either.”

Iruka’s color darkened. “Now you’re just making fun.” He turned away and reached in to turn the water on in the shower, but before he could manage it, Yamato pulled him back once more.

“No. I’m not. Look, neither of us understands all of this, I’m sure. This is completely new territory.” When Iruka nodded at that, Yamato said, “let’s just take what is. And this…” He paused to lay his lips over Iruka’s and the kiss heated. A moment later, they broke apart with effort. “This is.” He waved a hand between them. “We know the physical is good. It works. We’ll worry about the rest later, okay?”

Iruka swallowed, trying to find his breath, still a bit thrown off from the kiss—how did Yamato do that with just a kiss? When Iruka could reasonably take air in again, he finally replied. “Okay.”

They climbed in together, and Iruka tried to concentrate on just getting clean. But before he could do more than get his hair wet, Yamato had picked up the shampoo bottle and was pouring some into his hand. A moment later, he was massaging the shampoo into Iruka’s scalp and Iruka couldn’t hold in the moan. “Oh fuck, that feels good.” He’d never had his hair washed like that before, never had it be such a sexual experience. He’d never be able to wash it again without thinking about Yamato doing it for him, he was sure of it.

When they’d rinsed his hair, he picked up the washcloth, intending to start the process of cleaning himself, but Yamato took it from him and ran it over Iruka’s body instead. He took his time, touching everything, and by the time Iruka was clean, he was thoroughly aroused again. They leaned in together again, kissing softly, but Iruka pulled back.

Yamato wasn’t the only one that got to run his hands over his lover’s body. Iruka pushed him back against the tiles and gave as good as Yamato had given him. He was as thorough as Yamato was, and as soon as he was rinsed, Iruka replaced his hands with his mouth, wanting again to taste.

But before they could do much more, the water started to run cold. They hurried out of the shower and turned to each other with towels. Of course before either of them was fully dry, that devolved too, and only a moment or two later, they were back on the bed.

The heat between them built quickly, and Yamato groaned when Iruka bit at his skin. Yamato took that as Iruka wanting more. He was having a hard time holding back himself and he decided not to even try to fight the need.  Before he knew it, Yamato was pressed flush against Iruka, hard cock pinned between them as he worked slick fingers into Iruka’s ass. He made sure Iruka was ready, but only a moment later, he had Iruka turned around and bent over and was pushing slowly into Iruka’s tight heat. The moaned “fuck” was probably louder than it should have been but Yamato couldn’t hold it back as he buried his cock once more in Iruka’s incredible body. He nipped at the shoulder in front of him, and wrapped his arm around Iruka’s waist as he started to thrust.

“Yes, more, Yamato. Faster, harder, please…,” Iruka nearly begged.

Yamato gave him what he wanted, but it was so hard to hold on when Iruka’s sexy voice called his name. The feel of this man was so much more than he ever expected, so much more than he could have imagined. “Iruka…” Yamato grunted. “II won’t hold on long,” he warned as he wrapped his hand around Iruka’s cock and started stroking it, determined to feel him come first.

“Fuck! Fuck! That’s so good. Yamato!” Iruka bucked against him, meeting him thrust for thrust and despite his attempts to hold on, Yamato knew he wasn’t going to make it.

“Come, Iruka. Now!” It must have been something in his voice because, thankfully, Iruka started to shudder.

Iruka shouted his name and came hard, his body shaking with his climax.

Yamato let go of his control then and his own orgasm crashed into him. He slammed once more into Iruka’s body and shouted with it as he pumped his lover full of cum.

He collapsed against Iruka’s back, holding him close, trying to find normal breathing. Yamato’s heart was pounding incredibly fast and he simply could not think. When he found his brain he leaned up enough to drop light kisses across Iruka’s skin. Iruka turned his head and he left a few more on his cheek.

As he eased back, Iruka pulled the towel out from under him. Then they lay down, curling into each other, legs tangled, arms wrapped around each other. Yamato couldn’t think of a single thing to say and suspected, based on Iruka’s silence, he felt the same way. What could they say? It had been just as hard, just as powerful, if in a different way, as the first time.

Iruka tugged at the blanket that had gotten kicked to the bottom of the bed and together they pulled it up over them. He looked up at Yamato after they settled and their gazes met. There was a world of meaning in those dark eyes, meaning Iruka couldn’t begin to really understand. He was sure there was probably just as much in his. They kissed, another one of those soft ones, the kind that had more behind it than he would have liked there to be. At least for his part, because he couldn’t hide it and he wasn’t quite ready for Yamato to see it all.

He’d never been very adept at hiding his emotions. And being blindsided by all of this as he’d been made it even more difficult. He wondered what he’d look like if he looked in the mirror. What did Yamato see?

If he knew that, then maybe he could understand better what was in his own mind and heart. Because he just wasn’t sure.

Confusion. Yamato had seen confusion, a bit of fear, and a whole host of emotions that he couldn’t begin to name. He wondered if those same things showed in his own eyes.

He knew the confusion, knew the fear. This… Iruka… nothing he’d ever done, no relationship he’d ever had prepared him for something like this. Dating had been sporadic at best and he’d never been very adept at them in the first place. Throwing someone of the same gender into the mix confused him even more. That was ridiculous and Yamato could admit that. Having his partner as the same sex shouldn’t make things all that much more complicated. But he couldn’t seem to quiet that thought and it added more onto the pile. He didn’t have the first idea how to handle it, which was a big part of what scared him. He didn’t like not knowing how to handle something, not knowing what to do.

Yamato never questioned himself on a mission, never wondered which person to send in to do something. He didn’t hesitate to do a jutsu. He just did it.

But this, he was entirely out of his element. It seemed it didn’t matter if the other person was male or female. He was as lost no matter which it was.

Iruka tucked his head under Yamato’s chin and Yamato tightened both arms around him. What the hell was he going to do with all of this? There was no doubt that they couldn’t turn back now. This was no drunken experience; this was no accident. They’d gone into this with their eyes wide open.

And he was so confused about what to do because he cared, very much, for the man he’d just been with. Been with… that was the best way he could come up with to call it. They’d certainly done more than fucked. There was no doubt about that. Did they call it making love? Did he love Iruka?

He wasn’t ready to answer a question like that. Not in his own head, much less out loud. He swallowed. He didn’t know what labels to put on it, didn’t know what he could do beyond this. The only thing Yamato knew was that he didn’t want to be without Iruka. And maybe that’s all he needed to think about for the time being. He reminded himself to think about what was, not what might be.

“Will you stay?” Iruka asked quietly.

He tightened his arms around Iruka again. How could he answer that? What could he say that didn’t immediately give away just how confused he was by all of this? Because the first thought he hadthe one that jumped up at him was what he would normally dohe’d get up and slip out. And the immediate reaction to that thought was “hell no, don’t go!” On the other hand, he wasn’t ready to say something like “absolutely! Try to make me leave!” out loud either. Even if that was the second thing he thought.

“Yes,” was all he could manage and he dropped a kiss on top of Iruka’s head. Iruka nodded and Yamato had a feeling that Iruka understood at least some of the chaotic mess in Yamato’s head.

He had no idea when he finally fell asleep.

Iruka couldn’t remember the last time he woke up next to someone. The drunken experience a couple of weeks ago hardly counted. He’d had very few relationships over the years and even fewer times when they ended up spending the night together.

And he didn’t think any of them had been a first date. That was definitely a new one. He was getting a lot of new experiences this weekend.

Like dating a man. That was brand new. Having dinner with him, making out in a movie theater with him. Then there was the sex, good grief, the sex the night before. Iruka’s face warmed and his cock, which had been partially awake already, sprang to full attention.

He swallowed, trying to shift his thoughts, but they stayed firmly on the night before. Yamato kissing him, Yamato’s mouth on him, Yamato inside him. And as Iruka had these thoughts, his cock twitched and even his ass fluttered in reaction to the memories. He couldn’t believe how much he’d enjoyed all of that. His face got even hotter when he remembered just how he’d reacted to some of it.

Iruka closed his eyes, savoring the feel of being in Yamato’s arms. He was currently spooning Iruka and he couldn’t miss the morning erection against his ass. That only made things worse.

He was afraid to move though. It felt like Yamato was still sleeping and Iruka didn’t want to wake him up if he was. Instead, Iruka paid attention to Yamato’s even breathing, the breath as it blew across Iruka’s neck, the way Yamato’s arms were wrapped around him, holding him tight.

And he couldn’t remember ever feeling better in his entire life.

That scared him, more than a little. Could something like this last? Could they be together? Would Yamato want to? Did he want to?

He could admit that much. He did want to be together. He didn’t want this to end, whatever it was. He didn’t want to see Yamato walk away and not look back. That was something he allowed himself to think. He wasn’t ready to examine it beyond that. Right now, like Yamato said last night, right now, they could concentrate on what already was. Anything else would happen as it does.

The future was too unsure for shinobi, as it was. He couldn’t forget, either, the fact that Yamato was ANBU. He could disappear at any time and not come back for weeks. Months, even. And Iruka would have no idea how long he’d be gone or what kind of mission it was. He’d just know it was ANBU and that meant danger, beyond anything a normal mission could be.

The most he could hope for was that he’d know beforehand that Yamato was leaving on an ANBU mission. That he could know why Yamato was disappearing. That could be an absolute nightmare. Because it might also mean that he simply wouldn’t come back. There were no corpses to bury from ANBU. Only single code names on the memorial stone.

Iruka shook himself mentally. He couldn’t, wouldn’t think about that right now. It was true that missions had been slower lately with the rebuilding. It was true that normal missions had taken a backseat even to basic stuff and so he could hope, at least for a while, that was all Yamato would get.

The alternative was just not something Iruka was ready to deal with. Because it meant he had to examine just why the thought of this man taking off and never coming back caused his heart to pound and the old grief to want to surface.

No. Iruka was unequivocally not ready for that yet. Besides, it wasn’t that he loved Yamato. A person didn’t fall in love with someone after one date and one night of sex. Nope, not at all.

Iruka forced his thoughts back to the present, back to the immediate past. What had happened the night before was outside anything he’d ever experienced. He’d told Yamato that he’d spoiled Iruka for women. And that was probably very true. But Iruka somehow didn’t think that things would be the same with just any man either.

He’d reacted to this man. Yamato. Period. He couldn’t remember anyone, man or woman, making him feel the way Yamato did with just a touch. Making him react that way from just a basic kiss.

And oh fuck, had he. Iruka had managed to distract his mind from the sex for a few moments, but that didn’t last. It was firmly back there, just too much to ignore. And so it went back to the cock that had done insane things to him inside and out, had tasted so good. The lips that had driven him insane. The voice that could make his own cock go hard just from speaking.

And the man they all belonged to.

Just like that, Iruka’s heart was pounding and he was having trouble breathing. Just like that, he couldn’t think of anything besides having Yamato buried inside him again. All he wanted was to feel those lips on his, that tongue slide along his once more, the feel of those teeth nibbling on his skin.

He had to force his thoughts onto something else. At the rate he was going, he’d end up coming from a fantasy! From memories! Good grief! He swallowed hard and tried to think of something to help him calm down.

“Good morning.” Well, there was the voice Iruka wanted. His cock jumped and he closed his eyes, desperately trying for some semblance of control, which seemed ridiculously absent. And that damned voice was even deeper in the morning.

“Good… good morning,” Iruka managed.

Yamato started running his lips along Iruka’s shoulder, then nibbling gently with his teeth. Iruka swallowed hard and shifted against Yamato, looking over his shoulder. Yamato’s dark eyes had a bit of a devilish gleam to them as he looked up at Iruka. “How are you feeling?”

Like I want to push you over and fuck your brains out? “I’m…” Iruka closed his eyes and moaned when Yamato started sucking at a spot on his back. He’d have a mark there, probably to go with the collection that was already on his chest. “Good…” Iruka said, finally remembering to finish his reply. He swallowed hard. “Your mouth should be registered as a lethal weapon.”

Yamato chuckled and even that managed to sound sexy. Good grief. “I can’t say I’ve been told that before.” He bit and nibbled his way down Iruka’s arm, sitting up a bit in the process. Iruka rolled a little, looking up into the dark eyes again and Yamato moved to him, their lips meeting, the kiss exploding between them.

Iruka moaned at it. He twisted a little more until he was on his back completely and he hooked a leg around Yamato, pulling until the weight was settled on top of him. “I want you again. Please…,” Iruka moaned as their cocks brushed against each other.

Yamato all but whimpered. “You’re going to kill me,” he said with a chuckle, then attacked Iruka’s lips again.

He wiggled around until his legs were around Yamato. He ran his hands over Yamato’s back, and paused when he felt welts. He leaned up and, peering over Yamato’s shoulder, saw long scratch marks all over Yamato’s back. He nearly died of embarrassment. “Oh! I’m sorry!” He had no idea how he’d missed them in the shower the night before, but apparently he’d been just a bit too preoccupied. He buried his now very hot face in Yamato’s chest.

“What for?” There was real puzzlement in Yamato’s voice.

“Your back,” Iruka said into the skin.

Yamato pulled back and glanced over his shoulder, then looked down into Iruka’s face. “I’m not,” he said with a chuckle. He bent and kissed Iruka again and a moment later, Iruka managed to forget all about his embarrassment. Yamato shifted and their cocks rubbed against each other again.

Iruka moaned. “Oh fuck, that feels good.” He nibbled at Yamato’s neck, found the spot he’d discovered the night before near the base of Yamato’s throat and sucked again. There were already several bruises along that part and Iruka couldn’t help but grin a little at the sight.


“I need you,” Yamato groaned. He grabbed the bottle off the bedside table and coated his fingers with it, unable to wait another moment. He’d awakened hard as a rock, the smell of Iruka’s shampoo filling his senses, the feel of that soft hair against his skin doing insane things to him. And all in a completely non-drunken state, the exact opposite of the two weeks prior.

Then he’d registered Iruka’s heart pounding and breathing heavy and Yamato had known he was remembering the night before. Between the smell and feel and his own memories of the sex, he’d been trying hard to keep from simply pinning Iruka to the bed and just taking him. Then Iruka’s sexy deep morning voice had spoken, just that “Good morning” and it had taken Yamato’s already fraying control and pushed it to all but the breaking point.

So hearing Iruka’s please meant he could gather a little bit of that control again so he wasn’t a complete animal. He set the bottle aside then reached between them and found the tight muscle he was looking for. He remembered himself enough to try one finger first, but when it slipped in easily, he added a second, then curved them, looking for Iruka’s prostate. He still wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing, but he’d managed the night before, so—

Oh fuck yes.”

Well, that was good. Feeling a little more confident, Yamato worked his fingers, stretching Iruka as much as he could. Iruka seemed to still be a little open from the night before, so when Iruka moaned again, demanding Yamato stop fucking with him, and just fuck him, Yamato gave in with a half chuckle. Determined he wouldn’t hurt Iruka, he restrained himself enough to use the lube again, coating his cock before pushing into Iruka’s body.

Yamato managed to not go off before Iruka, but it was damned close. His tenuous control had slipped even further just from being inside Iruka but he’d managed. He didn’t even remember stroking Iruka’s cock, but the whole thing went so fast, it was something of a blur anyway. When it was over, he was, once more lying on Iruka, unable to breathe, think, see or hear. The only thing he was aware of was the body still surrounding him and the minor tremors as his orgasm faded.

He had no idea how long he lay there, Iruka’s legs and arms wrapped around him, his face buried in Iruka’s neck. He couldn’t seem to move, not that he wanted to. He needed to, though. It couldn’t possibly be comfortable for Iruka to hold his weight like that.

He searched around his head and finally found his brain. It was hanging out with his voice in the break room by the water cooler. “You’re going to kill me.”

Iruka’s breath was coming in gasps. “If you don’t kill me first. What just happened?”

“You mean besides the fact that we had sex again?” Yamato asked Iruka’s neck.

“No, you never touched me. I mean—my—” Iruka shook his head.

Apparently, he hadn’t stroked Iruka’s cock. “I have no idea. Should I feel proud?” Yamato asked, chuckling to cover up his surpriseand at feeling a bit ignorant yet again of how sex between men worked.

Bad idea. Iruka tightened his legs at that and flexed his other muscles, tightening other things too. Yamato nearly choked. “Sorry! Sorry. Good to know you won’t let me get too full of myself.”

Iruka chuckled, releasing him. “I… just didn’t think that was possible.”

Yamato swallowed, trying to remember how to breathe. “I don’t know. Nothing I read said anything like that.” He leaned up and Iruka let him go. “Was it… bad?” Yamato asked.

Iruka shook his head quickly. “No, no, definitely not. Just… a surprise.” He stared at the ceiling a moment, then looked at him. “Wait, you read?”

Yamato blushed and shifted, pulling back and laying on the bed next to the other man. “Yes. I…” he cleared his throat. “I had no idea what…well, I mean, how it…” He gave up, his mouth snapping closed.

Iruka rolled onto his side, tugging on Yamato’s chin. When Yamato looked over, he said, “so did I. I… didn’t want to…” he swallowed hard. “I didn’t want you to be disappointed.” He ducked his head, burying his face, hiding his blush.

Yamato decided that hiding what he did—or didn’t—know about sex between men wouldn’t help either of them and that researching wasn’t anything to be embarrassed about. “Same reason I did the reading I did,” he said, hoping to make Iruka feel better. “And, I think we need another shower,” he said to change the subject.

Iruka looked up, a grateful expression on his face. “Well, I think we can do that. Then how about I make us something to eat?”