Welcome back to Other World Wednesday! For background and an introduction to the story, go here.
Please remember the characters and world within this story belong Abe-sensei for the manga and Ishihira-sensei for the anime. I do not own anything, nor do I wish to make money off this.
This story is mature and not for under-18’s. It also includes twincest, so be aware.
And without further ado, part nine:
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Except he knew what would happen. If Aki didn’t outright hate him, they’d at least lose the close relationship they had. And as much as he wanted, a little desperately, to have Aki in his arms and in his bed, it wasn’t worth losing his brother altogether over it.
As he watched Aki sleep, he let himself think about their date the week before. He hadn’t exactly meant it to be that. He had made the conscious choice to wear the clothes and shoes he had. He had wanted to look good for Aki. But when he’d made reservations, when he’d chosen his clothes, he hadn’t exactly been thinking date. He’d just been thinking about giving Aki a nice evening.
“Surprised” didn’t begin to describe what Shima felt when Aki came down dressed as nicely as he had. The snug jeans hugged his amazing ass—which was, actually, a bit different than his own. Aki was a bit more active than he was and had the muscle tone to show for it. His well-fitting, button-down shirt showed just enough at the open neck to make Shima want to taste his skin and leave a nice series of marks. Then there was the combed hair and the scent of cologne. It took all Shima had to contain his reaction, though he was sure at least a little something came out.
And what was with the once-over Aki had given him?
Whether he’d meant it to be or not, their evening had certainly felt like a date. Even the train ride there, when he’d held Aki and calmed him down. It did good things to Shima to know he could do that, could calm his brother when others couldn’t. Then the walk to the restaurant had put things right back on track to feel like a date. From that point, everything did: from dinner, to how they sat at the theater including his arm around Aki, to the—god help him—cake on the footbridge in the park. The only thing that’d been missing had been a kiss at the end.
He’d listened as Aki walked down the hall to the room next to him. There’d been a pause outside his room and Shima couldn’t figure out what that’d been about. He’d been sitting in the dark on the floor just on the other side, his head back against the door, trying to figure out how to deal with the evening. His chest ached with the want to open that door, pull Aki in. His thoughts kept going back to the footbridge, to holding Aki in the theater, to the smiles and laughter at dinner. In all the dating he had done, none of it had been so… amazing.
The next morning had been a little awkward. He hadn’t slept well the night before, his imagination too vivid with what he’d wanted to do with Aki after the date. Shima did his best to try to just play it off and after the hesitant “good mornings,” they seemed to be okay. Still, Shima was more aware of Aki that day and even beyond into the week. On the train to school, at the cafe after classes. He’d always been able to pick Aki out of a crowd, always knew his voice, and was even somewhat aware of where he was when they were in the same place, even without hearing or seeing his twin. This was even more pronounced, though, and it drove him crazy. Eventually, he managed to let go of it and they were—mostly—back to having the interactions he expected.
And that was exactly why he couldn’t act on his feelings. When Aki rejected him, their relationship would go beyond damaged. Being together would be way more than awkward. And he couldn’t give up the closeness they did have for the scant possibility of more. He brushed at Aki’s hair again, trying in vain to get the lump in his throat to go away. His chest ached, though, and his stomach was doing some complicated twisting, making the attempt at getting rid of that lump difficult, at best.
He gave in just a little. He bent and buried his face in Aki’s hair, taking a deep inhale of his twin’s scent, then left a light kiss on his temple. “God, I love you,” he whispered, his eyes closing. He let his hand rest on Aki’s arm and after another inhale, sat back up, shifting just enough so he could lay his head back against the couch while not disturbing his brother. He struggled to keep the tears back, refused to give in, and he managed, if only barely.
Shima couldn’t resist wondering what it would be like if Aki returned his feelings. How would it feel to hold Aki in his arms, bury his face in Aki’s neck, kiss his twin’s lips? What would it be like to taste Aki’s skin, touch him everywhere… have the freedom to do so?
Would making love, filling Aki’s body, drive him completely crazy? The thought of Aki’s voice calling Shima’s name through orgasm made his heart pound and cock twitch. How would it feel to wake up every morning with Aki in his arms, and the ability to see that smile, one just for him?
He swallowed again, fighting, once more, the lump in his throat. He’d never know. He’d never get the answers to those questions. Those things weren’t and would never be, for him.
Someone else would taste Aki’s lips. Someone else would hold Aki in the night. Someone else would hear their name in his voice.
Someone else would have him by their side for the rest of their life.
“Hey Shima, can I ask you a question?”
Shima turned to look at Ren as he crossed the office to stand next to him. Please don’t be about sex. Please don’t be about sex. Please don’t be about sex. He was so not in the right frame of mind to deal with Ren’s obsession with learning about all things sex. “What’s that?”
“Do you love Aki?”
Shima was very, very glad he didn’t have a drink right then. He might have spit it all over the computer in front of him. He cleared his throat and thanked every god out there that he didn’t show a lot of emotion. He went with the obvious dodge. “Of course I do, he’s my brother, like you are.”
He gave Ren credit for not rolling his eyes. “That’s not what I mean.” The duh went unspoken, but Shima heard it loud and clear, anyway.
“What makes you ask that?”
“I saw you the other day when you were sitting on the couch.”
Well, shit. How the hell did he handle this? He didn’t want to lie to Ren. The kid had enough to deal with thanks to Haru’s constant waffling and ups and downs, so understanding romantic love was complicated at best for him, to begin with. At the same time, Shima had no idea how much he should—or could—say. He certainly couldn’t just play that behavior off. If Ren saw him kissing Aki’s temple, there was no way to call that brotherly love. He sighed. “Close the door?”
Ren did as he asked, then came back over, hopping up onto the counter. “So?”
Shima frowned as he considered his younger brother. “It’s not that simple.”
“What’s not simple about it?” Ren truly looked confused and Shima had to give him that.